Living and Leading from Within
  • Home
  • About
  • NEW BOOK: The Rebel's Guide to Leadership
  • Programs & Retreats
  • The Circle of Trust® Approach
  • Leading Together: strengthening relational trust in schools
  • Event Calendar
  • Testimonials
  • Visual Quotes
  • Blog

The Rebel's Guide to Leadership

12/10/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
My birthday seemed an auspicious date to launch my new eBook - The Rebel’s Guide to Leadership.

The book weaves together stories from my personal rebel journey as co-founder and former principal of Matahui School in NZ with new theories of leadership and education. My purpose in writing the book is to encourage people to take a stand on things that matter to them, to challenge the status quo if necessary, to do what they can to help create a more compassionate, just and sustainable world. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of leadership, you may like Meg Wheatley’s definition of a leader as ‘anyone who is willing to help’.

In publishing The Rebel’s Guide to Leadership, I'm raising my rebel flag against the traditional, hierarchical leadership model, and also our society’s emphasis on achievements, affluence and appearance. Our culture has become so externally-focused, too many of us become disconnected from our own hearts and deepest values.

You can find out more about the book and download a free chapter here​.
0 Comments

Remaining Open to Possibility

4/10/2017

2 Comments

 
Picture
We look with uncertainty
beyond the old choices
for clear-cut answers
to a softer, more permeable aliveness
which is every moment at the brink of death;
for something new is being born in us
 if we but let it.
We stand at a new doorway,
awaiting that which comes . . .
daring to be human creatures,
vulnerable to the beauty of existence.
 Learning to love.
—Anne Hillman -
 
On Saturday I hosted the third in four seasonal Circle of Trust® day retreats I’ve scheduled this year:  The Wisdom of Spring:  Remaining Open to Possibility.

Drawing on the metaphor of spring we reflected on signs of spring in our own lives – new ideas, new directions, new possibilities that may be wanting to emerge in our life and work.

Spring is such an energizing time of year - a time of opening, emergence and new growth.  I’ve come away from the day with my batteries recharged, and my stores of hope and optimism replenished. 

The word ‘possibility’ is in itself a wonderful, life-giving word, charged with hope and opportunity.  It nudges me towards a more open-hearted view of the world, and reminds me of the need to cultivate ‘beginner’s mind’.  I have the kind of mind that works quickly and tends to jump to conclusions and judgments.  My mind has a habit of jumping ahead of a speaker’s words which means I can often decide what I think about what someone’s saying, before they’ve even finished saying it!  So remaining open to possibility will help me to suspend judgment and to develop my capacity for deeper, more open-hearted listening.

Remaining open to possibility also helps take the polarity out of divisive situations by allowing for the possibility that there may be some truth in the other’s perspective, which in turn opens the way for alternative solutions and ways of thinking to emerge. 

Leaders who remain open to possibility have no need for a façade of “I know what needs to be done and I have all the answers”. They’re prepared to be vulnerable and because of this they’re able to establish a group culture where team members feel safe to show up as their authentic selves, risk-taking is welcomed and collaboration is able to thrive.  In this way, remaining open to possibility allows for greater creativity, for co-operative teamwork and piggy-back thinking to flourish.
​
  • What green stems of possibility do you see in your life right now?
  • What is unfolding in your life at this time?
  • What are you being drawn towards?
2 Comments

Taming the Ego

18/2/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
 ​Many years ago I worked as personal assistant to a very difficult Financial Manager. Lao Tzu would have had a thing or two to say about him.  This man had an ego the size of a house.  He seemed to enjoy undermining and unsettling his staff, as though needing to constantly re-affirm his own superiority by making us all feel incompetent.  Today, we’d call him a bully.

In order to survive, my own ego came into play, and work came to feel more like a competition, which I spent my days trying to win.  I did everything I could to always appear cool, calm and competent, never asking for help or giving him any suggestion that I mightn’t understand something.  Even when that something  was completely new to me.  I worked around him as much as possible, because direct dealings often resulted in a bruised ego.  Mine, not his.   But the worst aspect, I think, was watching how he undermined my colleagues, particularly the junior staff, noticing how he damaged them, left them questioning their own sense of worth. 

Lao Tzu’s definition of a ‘wicked leader’ sums up this manager perfectly.  He was truly disliked by his people.  He created a culture of fear where there was no place for personal vulnerability or honesty. Needless to say, I didn't last long at that job, though when I made the decision to leave after only six months in the position, it felt to me like a personal failure.  He’d won and I’d lost.  At the same time, though, I realised that it was the organisation that had lost the most.

An extreme example of poor leadership, perhaps, but one that illustrates the nature of ego and how it can drive our behaviour through fear, desire and ambition.  An organisational culture that requires its people to always appear strong, objective and goal-focused will operate with an undercurrent of fear. Egos flourish in these environments because they’re all about having to look good in the eyes of others.  The need to be seen as successful, important, competent.  Competition will flourish also, because winning looks good, it strokes our ego, and it helps us feel good.  But it’s important to remember that this emphasis on outward appearances masks the true fears beneath.  Fear of failure.  Fear of not looking the part.  Fear of not belonging.  

The problem is that when our behaviour is driven by what others think of us, or what we look like, or what we manage to achieve, we will look outwards, not inwards, when making decisions.  We ignore, and risk losing touch with those deeper parts of ourselves where we're able to access our inner truth, our feelings and intuition, our values and beliefs. 

When we're able to step back from our ego and see it as a separate part of ourselves, we’re better able to recognise and control our ego-driven fears.  As I said in my last blog entry Head versus Heart, once we’re freed from the controlling influence of the ego, we find we have the courage to show up in the world with all of ourselves, with our strengths and weaknesses, our successes and failures.  With fear out of the way, trust is able to flourish, and we’re more likely to connect with a deeper sense of purpose in life and the courage to stand up and strive for what we believe in.
0 Comments

The Art & Spirit of Leadership                                   - 31 March & 1 April 2016                                         Houchen House Retreat & Conference Centre, Hamilton

12/2/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
The journey to leadership begins from within – sometimes as a dream or sense of need, perhaps as a commitment to a cause or the desire to serve or solve a problem.

But the frantic pace and outer demands of the journey – the deadlines, the schedules, the overload of information and communication – can often overwhelm and cause us to lose this vital inner connection.

The Art & Spirit of Leadership is a unique leadership development program designed to help you reconnect with the leader within. Through the Circle of Trust approach, developed by educator and author Parker J. Palmer, you’ll have the opportunity to reflect on, renew and develop your inner wisdom and the courage to act on it.  You will learn practices that help you:
  • Strengthen your resilience and well-being with new tools that help you to reflect and act upon what matters most
  • Create trustworthy relationships to improve collaboration and effectiveness
  • Use new approaches to listening and asking questions
  • Manage the complexities and tensions of the organisation and/or system in which you work
  • Develop the capacity to lead a more, authentic, meaningful and engaged life, both personally and professionally

​You can download a brochure here or contact Mennie for further information.


0 Comments

Head versus Heart

9/2/2016

5 Comments

 
“A good head and a good heart
are always a formidable combination.”
                                                   - Nelson Mandela
Picture
In conversation with a colleague recently, I was dismayed to hear that we shouldn't use the word ‘heart’ when talking about leadership development.  Apparently ‘heart’ is frowned upon because it has subjective connotations which don’t sit well with the constant demand today for objective, measurable data.  Talk of the leader’s heart moves us into the realms of human feelings and intuition, both of which are clearly unmeasurable and, worse still, somewhat mysterious.  So this simply won’t do in today’s organisational environment which requires strong, objective, outcome-driven leadership.

As I said, I was dismayed - in fact I was disheartened - because I refer to ‘heart’ regularly when I'm talking about what we each bring to our work in the world – e.g. “the teacher’s heart” – “the leader’s heart”.  To me, ‘heart’ is so much more than simply the centre of our emotions and feelings.  When I refer to ‘heart’, I'm talking about the very core of our being, the place where we bring together our intellect, our knowledge and experience, our values and beliefs, and yes, also, our feelings and intuition.  When we’re able to operate from a place where all these parts of ourselves are integrated, feelings and intuition become an important source of creativity and wisdom.  From this integrated centre we are able to step back and separate from our ego, and recognise how ego loves to control our lives with fear, ambitions and desire.  Once freed from the controlling influence of the ego, we find we have the courage to show up in the world with all of ourselves, with our strengths and weaknesses, our successes and failures.  From this integrated centre we also can find a deeper sense of purpose in life and the courage to stand up and strive for what we believe in.

The domain of the heart is also where we develop our human capacity for making meaningful connections and building rich, respectful and trustworthy relationships with ourselves, with others and with our shared environment.

For me, the word ‘heart’ signifies the source of our personal integrity and it is central to our sense of humanity.
​
I believe the world needs more leaders with heart.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honours the servant
and has forgotten the gift.” 
- Albert Einstein –
  

"The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart"
- Native American proverb -
5 Comments

Cause for Optimism

6/2/2015

0 Comments

 


It Is I Who Must Begin

I am an optimist.  My default position has always been that things will get better; they will turn out for the good.   It’s easy to be an optimist on a personal level, but much more difficult on a global scale.   That’s because the future of our beautiful planet and our human race looks bleak most days, and downright doomed on others.

As an optimist, I love it when my optimism is reinforced and justified when good things happen around me.  And right now I’ve got an enormously good feeling of good things happening around me, with the potential that even better things are about to happen.  And I’m talking on a global scale here.  For me, the future of the world is looking brighter.

That’s because I’m one of the 26,000 people from all around the world (from nearly 170 countries) who are taking part in a massive, open (free), on-line learning course through EdX - Transforming Business, Society & Self  led by Otto Scharmer from MIT.   We’re exploring the environmental, social, and spiritual-cultural challenges we’re facing across the globe and the entrenched structures and paradigms of thought that mean our societies collectively keep on creating results that, individually, none of us want.    

It’s remarkable to realise that there are so many people – people from across the globe, from different cultures, with different beliefs and practices – yet we all share similar hopes and dreams, and worries and fears for the future of our planet and those who live on her.

Otto Scharmer ‘s U.Lab heralds a global movement for good of a scale and complexity never before experienced.   He practises what he preaches by leading from the emerging future*.  There are already many people in many places around the world doing many good things in many different areas of need.  But this massive global learning platform has the potential to bring the energy and visions all these change-makers together and create a momentum for change powerful enough and broad enough to shake the entrenched practices and paradigms of the past, and widen the opening to allow the emergence of a much healthier, more just and altogether rosier, future.

It inspires me to know that my work as a Facilitator-in-preparation with the Center for Courage & Renewal is based on principles and practices that resonate very closely with Scharmer’s vision for the emerging future.     I am part of a global movement that is part of a much greater global movement for change.


Picture
It is I who must begin.
once I begin, once I try –
here and now, 
right where I am,
not excusing myself
by saying that things
would be easier elsewhere,
without grand speeches and
ostentatious gestures,
but all the more persistently
-to live in harmony
with the ‘voice of Being’, as I
understand it within myself
-as soon as I begin that,
I suddenly discover,
to my surprise, that
I am neither the only one,
nor the first,
nor the most important one
to have set out
upon that road.

 Whether all is really lost
or not depends entirely on
whether or not I am lost.


 Vaclav Havel
(Human rights activist, political dissident and first president of democratic Czechoslovakia)


0 Comments

    Categories

    All
    Attention
    Authenticity
    Authentic Leadership
    Awe
    Center For Courage & Renewal
    Christmas
    Connection
    Courage To Teach
    Education
    Ego
    Giving And Receiving
    Heart
    Integrity
    Leadership
    Listening
    Nature
    New Year
    Paradox
    Parker J. Palmer
    Poems
    Reflection
    Seasons
    Time
    Trust
    Wonder

    Mennie Scapens

    Mennie designs and leads leadership development programs, teacher renewal retreats, and programs for personal development.  She is passionate about helping people uncover and grow their unique talents and dreams, and discovering personal pathways to living and leading authentic lives.  

    She is a facilitator prepared by the Center for Courage & Renewal. 

    Picture

    Archives

    October 2020
    June 2020
    December 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    October 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    February 2016
    September 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014

    RSS Feed


Mennie Scapens M.Ed
Courage & Renewal Facilitator
Phone 07 552 6581
Mobile 027 686 7449
Email  scapens@xtra.co.nz


What participants have to say:

"Taking the time out of the busy rush of university life to really reconnect with my inner self was definitely invaluable! I had forgotten to really take a step back to re-evaluate my personal goals and see whether they align with my values."
   - Merit Scholar, Macquarie 
           University, Sydney.


"I particularly liked the idea of the trust circle, in which silence wasn't awkward, but was mostly a way to reflect upon what others told. The atmosphere was very soothing, relaxed and ideal for inner thinking and reflection." 
  - Merit Scholar, Macquarie 
           University, Sydney.


"The concept of silence as a valued member of the group provides a new framework to connect and relate to others, in a more responsive way rather than a reactive way."
 - Counsellor, Tauranga.